Just one. Freaking. Thing.
More like a concept.
The concept that what I want is out there.
Whatever it is.
And I can have it.
In theory, it is meant for me.
But reality can be a hard thing to grasp because concepts aren't reality.
And that can be hard when all your mind can handle right now is concepts.
I've entitled this concept:
theideathateverythingihaveeverthoughtiwantedisatmyfingertipsbutonlyexistsbecauseibelieveitexists
It's time for another glorious story from Cal.
(applause)
Yes yes, settle down. I recently discovered that if you lay perfectly still for about fifteen minutes your body will naturally fall asleep.
(really?)
Yes. And this was working incredibly well for me, for a while.
(what happened?)
One night, my thoughts took over.
It was like I was living in my own mind.
For a little while, reality was mine.
I had everything I thought I wanted.
I could laugh at conversations, feel sadness, fear and frustration.
It all felt so real.
But it wasn't.
With the tiniest twitch in my foot my mind was jolted back to my stagnant reality.
I was at a loss.
The thoughts I had weren't like a regular dream or a story that could be written.
They were like memories.
Memories of happiness that I haven't attained.
This is why my mind has been so focused on a single concept.
I know happiness is out there for me.
I just don't have it yet.
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